yesterday was a pretty good day.

my session with my therapist went great... ive been waiting for a day like that.  usually i just sit there and bs and i think to myself, i could do this with anyone else for free.  but yesterday was different... a lot of things came out about me.  that i am goal oriented and that im a perfectionist among other things. 

I can't play the martyr, I really need to listen to myself more....

cuz when i dont, thats when the problems start.

and i was also told something else yesterday, which made me happy... im just hesitant.... cuz im just like that....

little things make the changes in me... its crazy how that works.

until next time,

look in, not up,

Phillip

so im pretty sure my therapist said to start xanga-ing again....

ill start later, when its not so late... maybe tomorrow

but it will come...

All you need is love, love, love is all ya need

The Beatles - 1 - All You Need Is Love

Today was a very emotional day for me. these are some of the things i felt...

Love, happy, sad, extatic, love, longing, fun, content, love, lonely, confusion, peace, love, love, love

I love those guys, more than any words can express. I just want to hug them and never let go. they mean so much to me. It was the most beautiful and perfect thing ive ever seen.  the marathon turned out to be a cake walk.

Congrats Tony and Janie, just as the priest said, you will share the love of god thru your marriage and thru the people you touch.  you guys are absolutely perfect together and are some of my favorite people in the world.  I hope to one day have what you both have, that is true, sacrificial, christian, love.  My love goes out to both of you.

As for me, I just have some issues to iron out... that will come with time... and counseling (cant wait til july 3rd).  but I have faith.  My time will come, I still have lots of growing to do, lots of learning still ahead.  This is gonna be quite a ride, but im optimistic.  Time will be good to me. Here I go, continuing.......

until next time,

look in, not up,

Phillip

Your best friend is not your girlfriend

Angels and Airwaves - We Don't Need To Whisper - It Hurts

..and im totally ok with that.... (despite the name of the song)

yesterday was a really bad day for me.

i wasnt loving me which leads to things that make me love me less.... its a vicious cycle

it could have been worse... but it was still bad...

so i went and did some shopping and whatnot alone today and it was good, i liked having alone time

and im actually doing decent in lit now, ive read, or read most of, all of the texts since spring break ended... so yay for that

but im up late tonight so im gonna wake up, put in my contacts, brush my teeth, and go to class.....

hopefully i contribute and get in good terms with the prof

so tomorrow (err, today), im gonna clean my room and read for ethics.. oh, and work on the newspaper for western civ

i cant wait til saturday... ill be home, and ill be able to go to confession...get excited!

and ill probably have a few drinks with the fam too

i like phillip

sometimes i am a drama queen, im workin on not being one, ill get better with time,

but overall, i like phillip

and thats a good pheeling

until next time,

look in, not up,

Phillip

so the retreat went amazing and the kids were amazing and the youth minister was amazing.... and it was amazing for us putting on the retreat...

so i went from that to being in a "spiritual and existential funk"

maybe i need to go to the zoo and flip off the monkeys, or buy a new suit.